Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

If you think the Gaytors are having a rough preseason with 5 ACL tears imagine 25% of your team with dreaded jock itch. Unfortunately for the USC Trojans they aren’t imagining it because it’s present day reality. At least according to the LA Times it is.

“As much as 25% of the team has been affected by the apparent run of tinea cruris, kicker David Buehler estimated. The condition seems to have spread by way of new compression shorts, or tights, worn under their football pants.”

Uh huh I do not believe that. I have a feeling Paris Hilton paid the team a visit if you know I mean.

“It burns,” Patterson said.”

Crab Lice have a tendency to do that. So I’ve been told. At least that’s what Billy Bob Bammer says.

This next quote cracks me up.

“Sometimes they can’t walk,” said tailback Stafon Johnson, who could giggle because he has remained itch-free. “I don’t know what it is, but I’m staying away from it.”

Song girls are nice, but nothing is without consequence, people.