Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

They don’t have anything to apologize for.

While admitting he had made “mistakes” in his personal life, Roger Clemens apologized to his family and the public on Sunday…sort of…read on & you’ll understand further.

“I know that many people want to know what I have to say about the recent articles in the media,” Clemens said in the statement. “Even though these articles contain many false accusations and mistakes, I need to say that I have made mistakes in my personal life for which I am sorry. I have apologized to my family and apologize to my fans. Like everyone, I have flaws. I have sometimes made choices which have not been right.”

“Now, I have been accused of having an improper relationship with a fifteen-year-old girl. Nothing could be further from the truth. This relationship has been twisted and distorted far beyond reality. It is just one of many, many accusations that are utterly false.”

“I realize that many people want me to simply confess and apologize for the conduct that I have been accused of, but I cannot confess to, nor apologize for, things I did not do. I have apologized to my family for my mistakes. And having offered this apology to the public, I would ask that you let me and my family deal with these matters in private.”

Ok let me get this straight. You’re apologizing however you aren’t saying what you’re apologizing for. Is anyone else out there as confused as me? Or did Roger just pull an old trick from the Jason Giambi playbook: I apologize, but I’m not going to tell you what I just apologized for…

Didn’t the girl herself admit to this? Is he calling her a liar as well? Oh wait she just misremembered.

Clemens mentions “fans” in this apology. What fans do he have anymore? He has to be the biggest coward in sports history. He is lying through his teeth. My favorite so far…let me apologize before saying that “nothing could be further from the truth.” Only irrational people speak this way. He is such a loser…and not a man. Own up for Christ’s sake.

I think this sums it all up, and this was almost 10 years ago:

“I have no respect or appreciation for his comments,” said Piazza, who missed the All-Star game because of the beaming. “Roger Clemens is a great pitcher, but I don’t have respect for him now at all.”

I wonder does Peter Gammons cry himself to sleep screaming, “WHY ROGER WHY?!!”

Of course if you’re still a Clemens fan you can always buy his autograph on E-Bay. Since this is what he’s been reduced to.