Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

Before I start berating and belittling the worst NBA coach ever, I want to make it clear that in no way do I use drugs or support those that do. Title is simply sarcasm in its purest form. Now let the humiliation of Isaiah Thomas begin.

It has been a rather rough year for Isaiah Thomas. He’s dealt with that minor sexual harassment lawsuit and this season the Knicks are well, how should I put it? Awful, simply awful. So it amazes me that 90 minutes before his Knicks lost their fifth game in row, losing a 10-point decision to the Sacramento Kings (who were without Ron Artest, Kevin Martin and Mike Bibby) in a game that was never even close from the second quarter on, Thomas actually uttered the following statement:

“I believe one day we will win a championship here, and I believe a couple of these guys will be a part of that, and I believe I will be a part of that,” Thomas said. “And as I sit here today, and people can laugh even more at me, but I’m hell-bent on getting this accomplished and making sure we get it done, and I’m not leaving until we get it done.”

Asked before the Kings loss whether he felt he had the support of ownership, Thomas answered: “As long as I’m sitting on that bench and as long as I’m in my office working, that’s what I’m committed to doing and that’s what I’m worried about doing. And until someone turns the lights out, that’s where I am.”

Surely Thomas must be on some heavy mind altering substance not to realize that the very team he coaches have hit rock bottom. Of course this isn’t all the doing of Thomas alone. There’s the dimwitted owner Dolan, who I seriously believe would tell the world he’s hired the right guy after Thomas has killed his family, shot his dog and stabbed him in the heart.

“I want to leave a legacy, I want to leave a tradition; I want to leave an imprint, a blueprint in terms of how people play and how they respond when they put on a Knicks uniform. I want to leave what I left in Detroit — every person that walks through that door, when they put on a Pistons uniform, there’s a certain pride they carry. I want to put that here and I want to leave that here in New York. I want to leave a championship legacy. This is a dark time for us, but I know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and I’m going to keep pushing and I’m not going to quit. And I’m going to do it here.”

Isaiah you have already left a legacy, a legacy of being the worst NBA coach ever. And the fact you’re still employed cements the fact your coaching skills are traditionally poor in every sense of the word.

Do you want to know how people would feel if they had to wear a Knicks uniform right now? Embarrassment, shame, self loathing, self hatred and bloated. I agree there’s a light at the end of the tunnel but either you’ve been so blinded by it or you’re too stupid to see that the light is a train.

Isaiah is grabbing at every last straw he can get his hands on right now. Honestly, do you think there is a team in the league right now that wants to trust their team with him running the show? He left a mess with the Raptors, ran the CBA into the ground (how do you ruin an entire league???) was a mediocre coach with the Pacers and now has the Knicks in such a terrible spot they likely won’t get out of it any time soon until they cut ties with him and let their roster of bad contracts expire.

I would not even higher him to sell cotton candy. He’d say, “Hey, KID, I’ll trade you 2 bags of cotton candy and a future first round pick for that sign that says “I’m an idiot.”

This I proclaim on 1/3/08.

TtT