Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

What, did you think I am talking about the New England Patriots??? I don’t really give a damn about them. I am talking about the Miami Dolphins. Let me re-phrase that…MY Miami Dolphins. I am now a Dolphan or Dolfan or whatever the hell they call themselves. Make room on the bandwagon, good ol’ Joel is hoping aboard, bringing bottles of Boone’s Farm with him (I won’t waste money on the good stuff for this team). I spoke about my dream earlier, and we are 4 losses away from fulfillment.So Sunday, they absolutely quit losing to the New York Jets, who were wearing throwback Titans unis, but from the looks of them , they look more like the Winnipeg Blue Bombers . Final score, 40-13, but it wasn’t even that close.Will they win another game??? Well up next is Buffalo at Ralph Wilson Stadium, and as Bald Berman says, “Nobody circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills”. My heart will be torn however. Can a man love two women??? Well, this isn’t that kind of blog to answer that question, but I will root both for the Bills and Dolphins. The Dolphins to lose, and keep my dream alive, and for the Bills not to have too many injuries, so they can defeat the Dolphins.Dissention has now set in. Veteran Dolphin Keith Traylor, who has won rings with both the Denver Broncos and New England Patriots, said when asked if this was the worst team that he has ever been on, he said “This one. I got three Super Bowls. I missed the playoffs five times in my career. This is by far the worst.” Now that’s the spirit big guy. Let that mentality spread throughout the team like fire ants to a melted Klondike bar on the sidewalk.I have just placed an order for one of those Dolphins Christmas stockings. I will hang it above my fireplace and get my named stitched on it. My hope is that by the time that it gets here, I can fill it with the tears of despair and broken hearts of the false Dolphin fans. I am a converted real fan, and I want to see this team make history. I will cheer every fumble, missed tackle, interception, and lack of effort that I can. Come on Dolphins, SHOW ME YOUR DORSAL FINS!!!!!!!