Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

Nebraska fans join hands and rejoice, for the evil scourge Bill Callahan has been defeated by the White Knight that goes by Tom Osborne. In less than 24 hours of giving up an eleven point halftime lead and 65 total points to Colorado, Callahan one the most arrogant idiots in sports history was fired.

Callahan also ensured that Nebraska doesn’t become bowl eligible for just the second time since 1962. Osborne has been quoted as saying:

“As a former coach this is a role I really don’t like,” Osborne said at a news conference.” I hate to sit in judgment of other people. I never envisioned having to do this.”

I’m sure that’s true. After all he was betting that the AD would fire him, but that was the problem, the AD was fired earlier in the season. The dismal results came one season after the Huskers reached the Big 12 championship game. This year also was marked by a 76-39 defeat at Kansas, the most points allowed by a Nebraska team.

This firing comes after about a month ago Callahan was quoted as saying:

“I have done an excellent job in every area.”

Apparently Osborne, the Nebraska fans, boosters, media & God must think different. Because Nebraska willing to eat the $3.1 million buyout clause in your contract just to get your ass out of the door.

The names most often mentioned as possible replacements are LSU defensive coordinator Bo Pelini and University of Buffalo head coach Turner Gill.

Callahan is the first coach from a big name school to be canned this year, however Coach “I sell my players injury reports while possibly violating HIPPA laws” Fran decided to “step down” after defeating Texas yesterday afternoon.

Coach Fran came to Texas A&M to restore the glory to the Aggies. He left with a mediocre record and an embarrassing scandal on his resume. He finished 32-28 at A&M, far short of the expectations when he took the job in December 2002.

Coach Fran is quoted as saying

“We appreciate the opportunity we have had at this great institution, to work with this administration,” he read from a prepared statement. “We have made many lasting friendships.

We have an outstanding group of young men on this team and especially great people. We want them to know that we love them, feel blessed for our time together, and will miss them.”

After he resigned, AD Byrne was the only man speaking for him.

“I want to express my regret and gratitude to Coach Franchione for his courage in making this decision, and putting the interests of his players and this institution ahead of his own interests,” Byrne said in a prepared statement. “We wish Coach Franchione the very best moving forward and we are grateful for all of his hard work and effort while he was here at A&M.”

A week after the loss in Miami, a newspaper reported that Franchione’s personal assistant had been sending out e-mails with inside information about the program to boosters who paid $1,200 a year to get it. Bill Byrne suggested Franchione breached his contract, admitted NCAA rules were broken and vowed the messy scandal would be part of Franchione’s year-end evaluation.

Byrne said after Friday’s game that the school had completed its investigation into the e-mail scandal. He said the school was convinced that Franchione “did not intentionally, knowingly, or directly participate in actions that were inappropriate or in violation of rules or policies.”

Rumors have been swirling about that A&M will go after Tommy Tuberville or God Spurrier. As for Coach Fran & Callahan maybe they can have a death match to see who will get the open SMU job.

So I profess on this day 11/24/07

TtT