Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

Something was missing from this seasons early existence, and I just couldn’t place my finger on it. I mean sure the Jets, the Raiders & Kansas City are all 0-2, so no surprise there. Then out of the blue I hear T.O. is whining about being fined, and I thought “Yes, that is what was missing.” Thank you T.O. now shut the fuck up.

“After seeing the videotape of Terrell Owens’ latest touchdown celebration, the NFL office wasn’t laughing.

Owens said Wednesday he was fined “a good chunk of money” — which he later defined as thousands of dollars — for a celebration that included him using the goal post and football to poke fun at the New England Patriots’ spying scandal during Dallas’ 37-20 victory over Miami this past Sunday.

“It wasn’t even the fact I used the goal post as a prop,” Owens said. “They said I used the ball.”

I’m sure there has been a rule revision that stating the ball can not be used in a celebration after a touchdown, and T.O. simply overlooked it. By overlooked I mean “to stupid and self absorbed” to read it.

“Beyond being confused about what he can and can’t do, Owens is frustrated by the league’s policing of end-zone scenes.

“It’s kind of hard to understand the rules,” he said. “It’s like you can’t do nothing no more. … Dude, it’s like they’re trying to find any way to take fun out of the game. So I’m kind of limited right now as far as what I can do.”

Dude I so feel for you. I hate the fact my employer won’t let me spike my keyboard after I complete a file. Trust me they don’t like it. I mean come on T.O. look at all the money we make, sure it’s nice but…hey wait a minute. I make shit! You’re the one making the money. Suddenly I’m so not feeling for you anymore, plus you’re a jackass. The bottom line is you have a dream job and you’re whining about the fun being taking away. I feel for you as about as much as PETA would feel about someone that showed up to one of their meetings wearing a Michael Vick jersey.

“T.O. plotted his celebration days before, after getting suggestions from callers on his weekly radio show. He said he likes making them timely.

Now, though, he’s going to be more careful with what he does.

“Nothing’s worth getting a fine for,” he said.“

Oh yeah T.O. that will really help your cause in the future fines I’m sure you’ll receive. If a fan called and suggested that next time you score, you should give fellatio to the goalposts, would you do it?

Owens said he’ll consider an appeal, but “it may not even be worth it.”

How about saving his act until he gets to the sideline?

“I guess so,” he said. “Next, they’re going to be saying you can’t go to the sidelines.”

Please appeal it, I would like hear Goodell comment about it. Yep it’s definately football season again…after all there’s one thing you can hear over the roar of the crowds, and that’s T.O. whining about something.

So I profess on this day 9/20/07.

tTt