Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

The OBSC, Old Ball Sack Coach Steve God Spurrier, is a little frustrated in the Gamecocks performance last Saturday night. Before he can prepare the Cocks for the start of the “Moral Victory 2007 Road Show”, which begins at Georgia this year, he basically stated to the fans, “I’m so sorry, we suck again.” Was he talking to you Steven?

“USC head football coach Steve Spurrier said Monday he apologizes to fans for his team’s performance last Saturday night.

USC beat Louisiana-Lafayette, 28-14, but it was a game that shouldn’t have been that close. After looking sharp on their opening two drives, the team struggled to put away the Ragin’ Cajuns.

“We had a lot of guys out there that didn’t play with the effort that’s necessary for us to ever be a contender,” Spurrier said after practice. “I guess you could say we’re a pretender right now because the way we played the other night, it was embarrassing at times. Heck, I apologize to our fans again. I apologize every year I’ve been here, I might as well apologize again.”

First off I love the photo, makes him look like he’s curious about what a camera is. Pretender not a contender? Apologize every year, apologize again? That son of a bitch, those are my lines. Is he trying to put me out of a job here? Instead of apologizing for bad play, try apologizing for this years team ever increasing incident & arrest records. Like the latest one involving senior defensive tackle Joel Reaves.

“Reaves involved in an altercation. USC police are investigating an incident last week involving senior defensive tackle Joel Reaves and a 19-year-old woman. According to the incident report, Reaves and an ex-girlfriend argued and were involved in a “mutual physical altercation” at East Quad, where many Gamecocks live.

According to the report, Reaves was the only one who had visible injuries: two scratches on his left arm.

Spurrier has spoken about the incident with Reaves, who played in Saturday’s game and practiced Monday.

“From what I heard, it was just a little squabble between he and his ex-girlfriend,” Spurrier said. “But that’s all I know. That’s all I know until they tell me differently.”

Little squabbles usually aren’t met with the police being called in. Especially since your player is the only one showing injuries. Did she beat his ass down? What happened? A real Gamecock doesn’t take no lip from some ho. I love the ‘that’s all I know until they tell me different’ line, as the coach wouldn’t you think it’s your job to know more? I wonder if it went like this:

JR: I need to borrow the car so I can rob the IHOP.

Gf: It ain’t going to happen, not tonight.

JR: Bitch I said gimme the keys you ho!

Gf: Bitch? Ho? Listen here just who the hell do you think you’re talking to?

JR: Oh shit, I’m sorry I’m sorry

Gf: Yeah I’ll show you what sorry is. You want some more? Huh bitch?

JR: (on the phone with 911 operator) Help!! I’m being killed, please Po Po help a brother out.

But that isn’t all. God Spurrier actually admits to being jealous of Georgia.

“South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier turned on the video of Georgia’s opening-game victory against Oklahoma State and saw a team he would like the Gamecocks to become.

Despite major personnel losses along the offensive and defensive lines, the 13th-ranked Bulldogs racked up 376 yards and shut out the Cowboys in the second half for a 35-14 victory.

“They’ve got a winning tradition there and it repeats itself the way their guys play. I’ve been watching the tape of their Oklahoma State game,” Spurrier said Sunday. “Doesn’t matter if they’re freshmen, sophomores or whatever, when they come to Georgia they’re expected to play at an extremely fast pace and play well.

“We’re trying to get to that level. We weren’t there (Saturday) night. We haven’t been there, really. But we’re trying to get there.”

Yes the “Moral Victory 2007 Road Show” begins this Saturday. With Reaves and Quintin Richardson already supplying two personal moral victories for this season, there’s sure to be plenty more to come.

So I profess on this day 9/4/07.

tTt