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THIS IS ALABAMA FOOTBALL
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 7, 2007
It’s getting serenaded with “Rocky Top” by the Minnesota band after
losing a 3rd-tier bowl game.
It’s worshiping an old dead drunk.
It’s losing cases in courtrooms from Memphis to “Tuscaloser” and still
thinking you were innocent.
It’s losing 9 of 10 to Tennessee and still thinking you’re better.
It’s claiming 12 national titles when no one else with half a brain
recognizes you with more than 6.
It’s making fun of other team’s “half a national championship,” when
most of the ones you claim were shared.
It’s claiming a national championship after losing to Mississippi State
and Vandy.
It’s claiming national championships after losing your bowl game.
5 coaches in 5 years.
It’s being on probation 2 separate times for cheating in less than 10 years.
Going to Hawaii to get beat and calling it a “Bowl” game.
Moral victory after moral victory.
Biggest tradition is buying and bidding on players.
Knowing your the best team every time you get beat.
Knowing that the refs are against you.
Knowing that the NCAA is against you.
Knowing that UT owns you.
Waking up to nightmares of hearing “Rocky Top” over and over and over.
Mike Price.
It is watching you go through 4 coaches in 2 years.
It is having head coaches leave for places like Duke, Kentucky, UTEP,
and Texas A&M.
It is having your 5th choice for a head coach turn you down.
It is remembering when losing by any margin at home to Auburn didn’t
make THEM fall in the polls.
It is hoping that Northern Illinois doesn’t show up again to ruin
Homecoming.
It is offering Ole Miss walk-ons Football Scholarships.
It is sharing a home field with the Blazers.
It is fans proudly displaying toilet paper rolls and empty detergent
boxes when the whole world can see that you don’t know how to use
either.
It is a Million Dollar Band and a Two Million Dollar Defensive Line.
It is decades of ignorantly mocking your arch rival for being named the
Tigers and yelling “War Eagle” when you’re called the Crimson Tide and
have an Elephant walk the sidelines.
It is giving your head coach a contract extension after going 4-9 and
6-6.
It is having a Big Least coach turn down a job offer.
It is throwing bricks through your coach’s window after a 10 win season.
It is knowing that Notre Dame takes pride in saying “well, at least
we’re not as bad as Alabama”.
It is having a head coach realize that the ugliest stripper in Pensacola
was prettier than the Alabama coaching job.
It is running off your backup QB by playing him with a concussion.
It is having a losing record since January 1st 2000.
It is being the fourth best football team in your state.
It is refusing to play those teams unless mandated by the state
government.
It is forfeiting games for playing an ineligible player for an entire
season.
It is getting caught cheating while still on probation.
It is having the AD with the most experience hiring Head Coaches in the
nation, yet worst track record.
It is being the team to give King of SEC Bottom Feeders Coaches Sylvester Croom his first SEC victory. Thanks Joel!!!
And last but not least, being the victim of a conspiracy 15 years in the
making involving Phillip Fulmer, the NCAA, the FBI and Osama Bin Laden.
Don’t forget this bitch.
One of the greatest sports liars.
Joel said
Wow Thomas. Genius. But you forgot about losing to botton feeding teams in the SEC West (MSU) and, heaven forbid, being an afterthought in the SEC…
Thomas the terrible said
I got it and edited it, giving you all the credit.
Taco Bell Soft Tacos said
Very nice. Bookmarked
Chattanoogan said
Holy fright, this is amazing. Or else really sad, I guess, for those poor souls who cheer for the War Tide Elephant.
antman said
first- off shit dick….. check your fuckin history. we only have O-N-E disputed national championship! the one in 1940. and by the way, THE BEAR WON 6 in his tenure alone!!!!! which is….. yup more than your program. CANT YOU DUMBFUCKS COUNT!!!!! i dont care if you post this or not. your gonna read it and that’s all that counts. oh and this is after we beat your asses 41-17……. i see the pendulum swinging back to us….. our time WILL return sooner than you think……. ROLL FUCKING TIDE ASSHOLE!!!!!
Thomas the Terrible said
“first- off shit dick….. check your fuckin history. we only have O-N-E disputed national championship! the one in 1940. and by the way, THE BEAR WON 6 in his tenure alone!!!!! which is….. yup more than your program. CANT YOU DUMBFUCKS COUNT!!!!!”
First of the use of your language tells the world you’re an ignorant moron.
Second according to the NCAA you have SEVERAL DISPUTED championships. And I trust them more than the rambles of an obvious Alabama fan and NOT alum, because an alum would show some class, something you’re incapable of. Oh and here’s the link for your and everyone else’s satisfaction.
http://www.ncaa.org/champadmin/ia_football_past_champs.html
“i dont care if you post this or not. your gonna read it and that’s all that counts. oh and this is after we beat your asses 41-17……. i see the pendulum swinging back to us….. our time WILL return sooner than you think”
I see you don’t know how to use an apostrophe either…typical. Every UT fan heard same song and dance when Coach Fran, and Shula won as well…this is old news. By the way it’s you’re not “your” instead of surfing the web try taking an English class in your local tech. college, because you obviously need it.
alabama rocks said
(21) Tennessee 17, Alabama 41
Thomas the Terrible said
::Twirls finger in the air::